


the other woman

by calumhood (sneaks)



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 3rd person pov, Angst, Cheating, Dom Ashton Irwin, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Manipulation, Mild Sexual Content, Overwhelming amounts of charm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:34:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24082144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sneaks/pseuds/calumhood
Summary: she was foolish to think that he’d love her the way she needed to be loved.
Relationships: Ashton Irwin & Fem!Reader, Ashton Irwin & Reader, Ashton Irwin/Reader, Ashton Irwin/fem!Reader
Kudos: 9





	the other woman

**Author's Note:**

> listen while you read: waiting game - banks

_\- I’m thinking it over. The way you make me feel all sexy but it’s causing me shame. -_

“You were so wonderful, babygirl,” Ashton purrs, resting his hand at her hip with a featherlight touch, “Did so good for me tonight, kitten,” He captures her lips in a smiley kiss as she lies against the pillows.

She offers him a smile in return, the two lovers lying close as her heartbeat calms, “And you were amazing, Ash. I love you.”

“I love you too, princess,” His gaze is soft and inviting as he places a gentle kiss on her forehead, “You want to order some food?”

“Sure, baby,” She smiles, watching him scoot to the edge of the bed. She reaches out, tapping his butt with the top of her foot, a relaxed smile enveloping her entire face.

Ash glances back at her, smile still present, “Cheeky,” He quips, “You sure you want food and not round two, angel?”

She tosses a pillow at him, giggling before lying back on the pillows propped against the headboard. She begins to trace shapes in the bedsheets, a lazy smile on her lips. She can hear Ashton in the bathroom, probably ordering something for the two of them. Minutes pass and she’s still unmoving, attempting to focus on the soft fabric beneath her fingers. Her mind is racing with thoughts of their inevitable separation. Ashton cares for her and does it well, his only request being that they keep their relationship completely private. She gets it, really; the tabloids would run wild. But keeping a secret this big has proved a difficult task, and all she yearns for is to hold Ashton’s hand in public, to kiss him in front of others, to fall asleep with tangled legs and an arm slung around her waist, listening to his quiet heartbeat.

She shivers, his absence in the bed becoming all too apparent as goosebumps travel up and down her bare arms. She wants Ashton’s big arms around her, making her feel secure in his delicate embrace.

“Yeah, love you too babe... Alright, bye.”

It takes a moment for the words to register in her brain, but once they do, it’s like a smack in the face ― usually she wouldn’t be opposed, but the circumstances are certainly different. Her smile falls as she rises, gathering her clothes and struggling to shove her body back into them, embarrassment flooding to her face. Her dress gets caught on her thighs as she makes a desperate attempt to tug them up to cover her bare figure, not even thinking to put her bra back on. Her thoughts are muddy as the words blur, nearly knocking over something on the dresser against the wall. That would surely wake up a few band members in the nearby rooms, either her’s, Ashton’s, or both.

Does any of this mean anything to him? What a fool she was, thinking she’s the only person he’s sleeping with. Her chest tightens at the thought of all the nights she spent in his arms, giving herself to him completely, her imperfections on display. He’s well aware how difficult it is for her to be completely honest with someone, how long it took her to finally admit that she loved him ― a sentiment he was quick to assure her that he shared, followed by a night of gentle touches, soft kisses and whispered promises of ‘I love you’. Ashton took the vulnerability she offered and used it against her. The sense of betrayal by someone she thought she could trust with all aspects of her existence settles in her heart. She longs to block herself off from him, to once again render him a stranger, an outsider to her true feelings.

Ashton exits the bathroom, his boxers sitting low on his waist. His eyebrows dart up, “Woah, hey! What’s going on?” She shakes her head, ignoring his question, emotions bubbling over, searching the room for her coat. Ash reaches for her wrist only to be met with her whipping around, tearing her hand from his grip and shooting daggers straight into his skull.

“I am not your side piece nor will I ever be anyone’s side piece, Ashton!” There are tears in her eyes as she speaks, voice shaking, “Why would you keep this from me? I-I thought― You… You told me you loved me.” Her voice falters at the end of her sentence, breath hitching in her throat.

“Listen, babe, I can explain.”

He calms her down and coaxes her back into bed, proposing an arrangement she’d be a fool to pass up. It’s the first night of hidden kisses and wandering hands where their actions are plagued with an undercurrent of uneasiness and malice, knowing he took advantage of her openness and hit her where it hurt, but not having the courage to leave him.

_\- I wanna lean on your shoulder. I wish I was allowed but I don’t wanna cause any pain. -_

A quiet yawn escapes her, tired eyes struggling to stay open as Ash converses with those seated around the booth, hearing the occasional heart fluttering laugh tumble from his pretty lips. Her head slowly tilts towards the overwhelming presence beside her, eventually laying against his bicep. He glances around in surprise, making sure no one has their attention to the pair, and pinches the inside of her thigh. Hard.

She jumps, looking up at him abruptly. He stares down at her, towering over her even when they’re sitting, his features stoic. She cowers beneath his gaze, a feeling of uneasiness stemming from deep in her body. She can feel it all the way in her marrow.

“Not right now, angel,” She nods, averting her gaze to the ground. The words he spoke were soft, but his tone was anything but.

Her dress is bunched up a bit at the back of her thighs, and she hates the feeling of the cushion against her bare skin. Back at the hotel, she falls asleep quickly, sweet nothings being whispered into her ear as she slips out of consciousness. He sneaks out once she’s under, and she wakes up without the warmth of him next to her. Not that she knows what it’s like to wake up next to him at all.

_\- And if I’m feeling like I’m evil we’ve got nothing to gain. -_

She sighs, checking her phone for the third time in the last minute. Her patience is fading, and it takes every part of her being to not slam the phone down on the pristine white tablecloth. The sudden vibration in her hand makes her jump, anxiously unlocking and checking her texts.

Sorry the gf surprised me at the hotel. Buy yourself something nice. See you soon. xx

Another notification pops up, showing that Ashton has transferred $300 dollars into her checking account. A quiet sigh escapes her shiny lips, downing the rest of her wine and calling for the check. She types out a message back but quickly deletes it, remembering his rules with a frown.

She yanks the drapes shut, beginning to peel her clothes off. The urge to text him crosses her mind again and she fights the thought, padding over to the bathroom and splashing her face with water to clear her head. She stares at her own reflection in the mirror for far too long, studying the taut muscles of her shoulders and the tiny blemishes dotting her hairline. She examines every aspect of her being before relinquishing herself to the lull of sleep.

She sleeps alone that night, atop cold sheets and beneath a comforter fit for two.

_\- What if I never even see you cause we’re both on a stage? -_

She exits stage left, breathing heavily after opening the show for them. Ashton and the guys are there, waiting to go on next.

“Good luck out there, boys,” She smiles at them before Ash pulls her aside for a moment, finding a quiet place for them to speak in hushed tones.

“She left this morning,” He flashes her a smirk, gingerly touching her hip in stark contrast to the way he usually treats her ― touches with calloused pads of fingers and bites along her soft skin, leaving marks in places that only he’ll see. It gave him a bit of pride to see her marked up the next day, watching her practically squirm beneath his lustful gaze and not being able to keep her hands off of him later in the night. Her touchy nature is to be expected, though. She loves the feel of his skin, often tracing his tattoos in the quiet moments where her thoughts are all fuzzy and her limbs feel airy and light. She can only describe the aftermath as otherworldly with a comfortable silence as a cherry on top. That’s how it always was with Ashton, though, otherworldly and comfortable.

A smile rises to her face, though she’s trying desperately to hide her disappointment at the mention of his girlfriend and with it, the reminder that she’s only ever going to be number two in Ashton’s life. It’s something she’s never gotten used to, and she doesn’t think she ever will. His girlfriend back home is certainly something she can’t forget.

“Alright, rockstar,” She looks up at him, avoiding his gaze, knowing he’ll see right through her. She hates how his eyes are like sunlight on oak wood, perfect for getting lost in, even when you don’t want to. Eyes you can easily place all of your trust in. “Smash it out there.”

He lowers his mouth to her ear, and she desperately wants him to nibble at the skin beneath, “This show won’t be the only thing I’m smashing tonight, princess.” He breathes, sending tingles from the crown of her head down to the tips of her toes.

_\- Don’t tell me listen to your song cause it isn’t the same. -_

“It’s an emergency, love,” Ashton rubs her forearms, “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

A pout crosses her lips, a whine tumbling out soon after. Ashton looks at her quizzically for a moment before she wraps her arms around his waist, beginning to lean into the embrace. Ash interrupts her, grabbing her by the base of her throat and pushing her head back, forcing her to look up at him. She doesn’t protest, just stares up at him through her lashes with big doe eyes.

“It’ll only be a few days,” He leans down to meet her lips, smiling into their kiss. She resists the urge to tug at his bottom lip with her teeth, knowing he won’t be able to stop himself if she insinuates anything. “Just play my records while I’m gone. I’ll be back soon.”

She nods, smiling up at him as he releases the hold he has around her neck.

She buys herself something nice, like he always tells her to when he has to leave unexpectedly, and contemplates sending him a little picture to hold him over until he gets back. She blasts his record in her hotel room knowing she shouldn’t, that it’s late and she might wake someone up, but she doesn’t care. She dances in her lingerie, all soft movements and swaying hips, sad eyes at the thought of her man halfway across the world. When she falls asleep, she dreams of him and the way he looks at her when they’re alone: like she’s the only woman in the whole world.

_\- I don’t wanna say your love is a waiting game. -_

**I’m so tired of waiting for him to come around** , she thinks, watching her reflection as she holds the curler close to her head. **Why am I even still with him? This is all so stupid.**

“Did you say something?” Ash calls out from his spot on the bed.

“No, Ash,” She releases the curl, watching as it bounces a bit. She holds it close to her scalp for a moment, trying to retain its shape before letting it fall once more.

“Lemme help you with that,” Ash’s hands are suddenly around her waist, pulling her flush to him, her back to his stomach. He takes the curler from her, setting it aside. She watches him in the mirror, the effortless smile on his face spreading to her own. He starts to kiss his way down her neck. She threads her fingers through his hair as he plants kisses across her clothed abdomen, stopping right above the button of her jeans.

Her gaze downcasts to Ash’s face, his pupils blown out as he stares up at her, waiting for her to tell him what he needs to hear. A flash of excitement washes over her, all previous thoughts nearly gone and more sinful desires taking their place, “You want this, kitten?”

She nods, anticipation building at the memory of all the ways he makes her feel.

“I need verbal confirmation, babe.” Always a stickler for consent. Another thing she loves about him.

“Yes, Ash, I want this. I want you. So bad.” She can barely form sentences as he stares up at her, his concerned face soon contorting to showcase another emotion.

Ashton sneaks a hand into her jeans, a teasing smirk on his lips. She sighs against his fingers, longing for what always comes next. His touch alone is enough to send her reeling, and he grabs her thighs to steady her.

“You okay, princess?” His voice is velvet soft, grabbing her attention once more.

“Yes, keep going, please” She's breathless. God, what his touch does to her.

Soon enough she's unraveling above him and the bliss that follows suit gives her a temporary release from her worries.

**This is why. No one does anything quite like him.**

_\- Baby, I'm thinking it over. What if the way we started made it something cursed from the start? -_

“You’re making me nervous, babygirl,” Ash tells her, watching as she paces around the room, her thoughts kicking into overdrive.

“I just… I thought this was a good idea? But I’m starting to wonder if-”

Ash stops her mid sentence, reaching out to caress her face, “Hey, it’s okay, love. We’re okay, because I love you and you love me, too. That’s all that matters, baby.”

She stares up at his relaxed features, finding comfort in the reassuring words falling from his tongue, “You think so, Ash?”

He nods, his hands finding her shoulders as he presses a kiss to her forehead and speaking with confidence, “I know so, angel.”

His words settle most of her anxious thoughts, “Okay, baby.”

_\- What if it only gets colder? Would you still wrap me up and tell me that you think this was smart? -_

“Talk to me, doll,” Ash coaxes her, drawing lazy circles onto her bare stomach.

“What happens when the tour ends?” She wonders, her eyes boring into the ceiling above them, “What happens to us, Ashton?”

He smiles, “Well, I could move you out to LA, in a little studio apartment not too far from my place. You could buy yourself whatever you wanted, and I’d love to take you to dinners sometime, but it’s not plausible, but I can swing by yours every once in a while

Her lip trembles, eyes fluttering shut and threatening to brim with tears, “What if I don’t want to move to LA?”

His muscles tense and his hand stops moving. Her breath hitches at the stillness of his figure. “Well, why wouldn’t you want to move with me?”

She shrugs, words beginning to fail her as tears sneak their way down her cheeks. He wipes them away with the pad of his thumb, resting his large hand on her jawline and bringing her attention to him. “It’ll be okay, baby, I’m here for you, always,” He tells her, pulling her onto his lap and cradling her. She feels like a child, crying over a man that doesn’t even love her back and allowing him to wipe away the tears that he’s caused.

_\- 'Cause lately, I've been scared of even thinking 'bout where we are. -_

“Ash?” She calls out as she lies on the bed, feeling particularly exposed as the cold air washes over every inch of her skin and the doubtful thoughts run rampant in her brain, demanding attention.

“Yeah, princess?” He returns from the bathroom with a warm washcloth and begins to clean her off.

A tiny sigh passes through her parted lips, “What’s going on with us anymore?”

“Same thing as always, love,” He doesn’t move his gaze from where he’s pressing the cloth, gently dragging it across her skin, “I’m taking care of you.”

“Ashton, look at me.” She says, her voice too strained and weak for him to hear. She tries again, “Ashton.” Her tone is firmer now, and it takes him by surprise.

Ashton meets her eyes, removing the cloth from her body, “What is it, love?”

“What are we?” She repeats, returning his blank stare with one of equal lack of emotion.

“Does it matter what we are, love?” His voice is smooth like honey, gripping at her waist with his free hand, “We’re in love, yeah? Why put a label on it?”

Suddenly, beneath the gaze of his soft eyes, she feels silly for asking such a stupid question, “Sorry, Ash,” She mumbles, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“ ‘s alright, babygirl, I know you were just curious. I just don’t think we should worry about classifying our feelings.” He explains, rubbing at the skin beneath his large hand, “Especially not you, you’ll stress yourself out with all that thinking.”

“I love you,” She offers, a tiny pout on her lips.

Ashton places a kiss against her lips, “I love you too, angel.”

_\- I don’t wanna say your love is a waiting game. -_

“I’m not going with you to LA,” She tells him, playing with the hand she’s holding, twisting the rings around his long fingers,“You’ll have to come to Phoenix if you want to see me, to keep all of this up.”

“Okay,” He replies almost instantaneously, “I can do that.”

Her heart stings, thinking back to all of the wonderful times they’ve had together and how many of them were haunted by the worry of being caught by someone. A tug at her heartstrings sends a rush of worry to her brain. She continues focusing on his hands, not wanting any of the toxic thoughts to get the better of her, but soon switches to running her hands through his hair, loving the feel of his curls between her fingers.

Her voice is soft when she calls out to him and he’s barely awake, drifting further to sleep every time she cards her fingers through his curls, “Ash.”

“Hmm,” He mumbles, half awake, “Yeah, babe?”

She retracts her hand, allowing both of her hands to sit in her lap, entwined in each other, “Listen closely to what I’m about to say,” The words seem to yank him back into the land of the living and he nods, watching her intently with tired eyes. It plagues her heart to be completely honest with him in this way.

“I don’t want your money, Ashton, and I don’t want any of the things your money can buy. I don’t care about any of it. I just want to be with you.”

Ash nods as she speaks, giving her his undivided attention.

“I’m tired of sneaking around, tired of being someone you refuse to spend the night with. I’m tired of all of it, Ash, I just want us. I want to hold your hand and walk down the street together, you pressing kisses to my cheek every so often because you know I love the feeling of your lips on my face. I want you to sing to me until I fall asleep after a rough day and I want, more than anything, to wake up in your arms and eat breakfast together with the windows open and hold you and be around you without having to glance over my shoulder all the time. I just… I want you to love me the way I love you.”

There they are, all of her emotions on display for him to pick and prod at, to deconstruct and find her deepest regrets and utilize her weaknesses for his own personal gain.

“Darling,” He speaks in a quiet voice, commanding attention and respect with every syllable that tumbles off of his tongue, “I love you, angel, and you love me, too. We can’t live without each other, at least I can’t live without you,” She offers him a slight nod to acknowledge his words, and a soft smile takes purchase on his lips, “Why ruin what we have by questioning it? It’s better to let your feelings guide you, baby.”

She nods along as he speaks, understanding that every word he says is nothing short of truthful. Her words leave her mouth as breathless whispers, “You’re right, Ash.”

“I know, love, I’m always right. Now give me a kiss,” Her hands reach for his face, anxiously gripping at his jawline dotted with stubble. She kisses him with every fiber of her being. Yet sometime during their escapade, an uneasy feeling plants its roots deep in her subconscious, stretching its influence from the back of her brain, where she often got her headaches, all the way to her toes that curl as Ash provides her with temporary relief and an empty mind for the second time that night.

Ashton kisses it better, letting her escape from the headspace of worry and bringing her into a state of total euphoria, if only for a fleeting moment.


End file.
